I am an alcoholic. Very functional one. I have been drinking since I was 15, often heavily. Somehow I managed to live a huge life despite this.
So anyway, I was with my last wife in Bali about a year ago. We had been in a three-way relationship with a much younger beautiful woman…., I will tell that story later. The relationship with the young woman had reached it’s end, so my wife and I decided on a holiday without her. First time in over two years just the two of us. We where going to rebuild our marriage.
5 Star rooftop Penthouse. Entire day of fun and drinking. It did not end well. She is an alcoholic too, so as there was only the two of us, it’s hard to say whose story is the correct version. Let’s just say, the next day I checked myself into rehab in Bali. Well that was an expereince to say the least.
For the uninitiated, rehab is where you pay $20 000 to have somebody watch you do a piss everyday. Total loss of ALL freedoms. Now to put this in perspective, I lived in a Penthouse, owned a large boat, ran a global company, spent 3 months a year snow boarding around the world, and had access to as much cocaine as my nostrils could devour. To be told when to go to bed, have no communication devices with the outside world, and be locked up with sex addicts, Heroin addicts and actual alcoholics (I was still not convinced I was one) was a bit hard to take.
Anyway, the reason I chose to start with this story is quite simple. After 5 days of detox (120mg of valium per day so you don’t have a fit and die – Did you know that Alcohol deprivation is the only drug that can kill you during rehab? News to me too) So on day 10, you have had to prepare your life story and present it to the other ‘inmates’. I had never come close to doing that before, so it was quite fun, if not a little difficult to recall. But I got the broad story down on the sticky taped A4 paper sheets – rolled them into a scroll – and presented them like a Greek Scholar.
The results was quite educational for me, and the others it seems. The senior councillor (An older soul who had been around the block quite a few times) told me in all his years he had never heard a story quite as….colourful? (If I am sounding a little gloating here, that’s because I am)
Rehab didn’t work for me as far as giving up alcohol goes. As it doesn’t globally for 85% of people. But it did give me a chance to stop and look at myself. I had turned into a real dickhead. Self absorbed, reward driven hedonist, with no brakes whatsoever. Not a proud moment.
So this blog is for me to document the journey, see how it all went pear-shaped, and try not to keep re-living the same fuck-ups.